The T.O.M. (2020) - unrealized script

The T.O.M. - 2020  

Written By: M.C.Nowell - December 2019 -

Directed By: Steve Balewicz and M.C.Nowell

Cinematography By: Steve Balewicz

Pete Girard was cast as Pippin

Merryweather was a female actress

Original Concept By: H.P. Lovecraft  - "The Terrible Old Man" is a short story of less than 1200 words by American writer H. P. Lovecraft. It was written on January 28, 1920, and first published in the Tryout, an amateur press publication, in July 1921.

Original Concept By: Washinton Irving - "The Devil and Tom Walker" is a short story by Washington Irving that first appeared in his 1824 collection Tales of a Traveller.

We Massacre Productions

presents

The T.O.M.

SEGMENT 1: ALDERMAN'S FORD

Dialogue: (actions)

Pippin: "Well it appears it was the design of...

Merryweather: Ah niiiizzzeee...cwoffee. Just what the docta ordered... (receives the coffee down low)

Pippin: (goes to extend hand for a brothers hand grip up high and smiling) Fuck yeah...

Merryweather: (misses cue for handshake raises the cup into Pippin's wrist chopping the coffee out of his hand and to the concrete. So Pippin's left hand hands the coffee)

Pippin: Oohhhhhh dang!

Merryweather: Ah, no. Pippin, I'm so sorry. (extremely hard on herself for missing a social cue for respect) No, you know what...I should've....(borderline choked up) you drove outta your way to grab me a cup of grease and now I go and fuck it up  (hating on herself) goddamn, Merri.

Pippin: It's all deece, really. We'll grab me another cup of grease when we leave.

Merryweather: You picked up the new cruiser?

Pippin: Oh yeah. (shows Pippin the keys) ...and the list of leads too...

Merryweather: Nizzzze....

Pippin: Yeah...and we got three stops to make today....4 if you count stopping for a cup of grease.

Merryweather: Roger that (sips her coffee...cut to still shot of Pippin watching her chug....then she wipes with her sleeve) You done with these two?

Pippin: Yeah but. (shows Pippin the keys) Hey Merry...hold up for a minute (steps over to photographer)

Pippin: (whistles and motions over to a photographer) Hey, Jimmy! Could you send me any digital prints for whatever you might find interesting out here? (looks side to side) and uh....anything else you've been able to dig up on The Creek County Lights.

Big Jim: Looking back into the UFO, Pippy? (pause for reaction nod) You got it, brother! (Big Jim gives him a click click with the hand) Could I put everything on a flash drive and you stop by my office later? (looks side to side) I've uncovered a couple things

Pippin: Ha, ha....nizzzze....we'll talk later, my lord.

Merryweather: (raises chin) What's that all about?

Pippin: He asked me if I would stop by later to grab a few digitals prints.

Merryweather: Really?

Pippin: What's up?

Merryweather: Why can't he just email them?

Pippin: It's off the record...and he has been helping me with a few other cases I've been working on...

Merryweather: Cases, Pippin? You're digging back into those reports of the mysterious lights hovering over the Creek last November!!!

Pippin: Yeah....so....

Merryweather: What makes you think there was anything more to those lights out over the reservoir than some horse playing trickster with a couple of hot air balloons and some red road flares?

Pippin: (pulls her aside despite being in a fairly secluded area) First of all, horses never play with flares like that and two....Those fishermen said they weren't into any bullshit scientific evidence requests and then they went on to describe Ezekiel's Wheel to a tee without ever even cracking a fucking Bible...(holds up 2 fingers really reflective and holding tense feelings) whatever it was turned every hair on their bodies white and turned the Creek's water grey for two weeks. (pause voice still low but serious) I know because I checked them myself!

Merryweather: (not really giving a fuck because it was 6 months before her time)  Well, speaking of things taking two weeks around here....are you about ready to cruise, sounds like you could reaaaalllly use that cup of grease.., you know what I'm saying?(the joke whiffs)

Pippin: Not quite.

Merryweather: ...the fah..... (like using fuck for huh or what)

Pippin: We still have another TOM down by the boat docks?

Merryweather: There's a third body? (perplexed as shit)

Pippin: There's always a third. (this is clearly false but it gives Pippin a false sense of mentorship like Liam Neeson in Batman Begins)

What's going on: (narrative)

We cut the camera to the body of Joe Czanek (covered) at the boat ramp area. There's a sheet over him but nothing else. The two detectives discuss the possible scenarios to land all three of these fellas in the creek. Then they agree to head into Creek City but settle in with common grounds and an agreement to retrieve another cup of coffee aka cup of grease.

Merry: So this is Joe Czanek.

Pippin: People called him The Joker, huh?

Merry: Ha. (more mocking than finding it funny)

Merry: (finding Pippin stiff to her joke she cuts to the fucking chase) Would a high tide've washed him down here from his friends like a Baby Moses?

Pippin: (shaking her head no) Not likely, because the Nile flows South to North...this Creek flows North to South so it definitely wouldn't be like Moses.

Merry: (not sure if that makes sense) Hmff, you thinking, what then? Maybe he could've jacked the other two guys then had a heart attack while escaping through the creek?

Pippin: Don't say jacked? (weary of unsafe work jokes but unaware if she does it)

Merry: (silent because she is not sure to dignify such a dry joke while on the clock)

Pippin: So we got two TOMs up rivers and...

Merryweather: Hey Pippin?

Pippin: Yeah?

Merryweather: Why do you call them TOMs.

Pippin: (looks side to side to make sure nobody is listening) I don't want to say 'dick' or 'harry' on the clock? Reaaaaallly keepin' things P.C. and I don't wanna be gross

Merry: It's okay....There are really men named Dick and Harry...

Pippin: (winces) Come on Merr....be cool....that stuff just sounds indecent...(looks around again, panicked)

Merry: Okay? Okay, okay...so maybe these couple of TOMs were killed by a maniac?

Pippin: Huh? What do you mean like a serial killer or a local legend?

Merry: Well, shit...I don't know...are there any horsemen legends or anything?...what... what about that Night Traveler guy. He's from Rock Bottom Creek! Could he be the trickster out here bleaching those assholes white?

Pippin: Geeez....stop saying dirty things.

Merry: Well, I'm just saying. Didn't he dump a lot of headless bodies out here?

Pippin: Yeah, allegedly....they never caught up with him.

Merryweather: Well it pays off when you have law enforcement in your back pocket, I guess.

Pippin: (shoots a sharp ass glare)

Merryweather: Right, allegedly in his back pocket...

Pippin: (reshoots a sharp ass glare)

Merryweather: (feigns ignorance) What.....(unserious victim's smile) I'm just saying....local law enforcement in Creek County has always been questionable?

Pippin: Why don't you carry a flask and take a shot everytime someone excuses themselves with the word just....

Merry: What does that mean?

 Pippin: It means they stop finding bodies out here 10 years ago.... besides wouldn't the Night Traveler  be in his late 60s (raises corporate eyebrow) so excuse me if I feel like this definitely qualifies as unrelated?

Merry: (movie reference) Well, Michael Myers has been going since the 70s.

Pippin: (answering with a joke with fact finger) Late 70s, mija!

Merryweather: Well, that's still before my time, Old School.  

Pippin: Ha, Old School. Well, those other two T.O.M.s looked so mangled they almost looked like Halloween props. This Joker guy is completely intact but shit...that one body was pretty much hallowed out and The way that other guy's neck was stretched out I didn't know if I should look for a giant piece of grape Pez candy in his throat or call Dr. Paul Berear's Creature Feature. (interrupted)

Merryweather: Oh nice... Dr. Paul Bearer, old school creature feature reference from channel 44.

Pippin: (smirks she fell for the reference bait) 1970 television? Now who's old school, Chinga?

Merryweather: Hey, my step dad loved the reruns in the 90s.

Pippin: Riiiiiight.

Merryweather:  ...and so now we have, Mr. Gwynplaine, over here by the boat docks...

Pippin: ....and the body down by the dock was identified as Joe Czanek aka The Joker.

Merryweather: AKA The Man Who Laughs....you see, Pippin, there was an actor named Conrad Veidt around the turn of last century, the 1900s, who inspired the comic books like....

Pippin: Hey, Merri....I'm not much into pop trivia, heh?  I know it feels like history but it's really not. So give it a rest would ya?

Merryweather: Fair enough..............  So we've got Mr. Joe Czanek over here.

Pippin: Without a scratch on him.

Merryweather: So what....what are you thinking.... could he have died of fright? (kinda smirking but serious but not too serious)

Pippin: What would he have been afraid of?

Merryweather: Who knows what scares people these days?

Pippin: A Headless Horseman?

Merryweather: There aren't many of those in the South.

Pippin: Wendigos? Vampires?

Merryweather: Vampires? Could it be related to the aliens from The Lights....

Pippin: Hey, UFO doesn't mean alien!

Merryweather: What does it mean then?

Pippin: It means a mystery. When folks point to Pacific Islanders and Cargo Cults forming after World War 2 when Pacific Islanders misidentifying the United States Army Air Corps as sky gods bringing them cigarettes and flying helicopters.. Who's Air Force inspired all the Hindu texts, or the Bible, or any other ancient writings that mention flying machines? What  Air Force were they talking about? What World War was going on? Was it all meteors and metaphors? If so then why not interpret the data in lieu of the description. What are they getting at?

Merryweather: I don't know, Pippin.

Pippin: And neither do I but just because it comes from space doesn't mean it's alien.

Merryweather: Well, whatever it was did a number on the other two downstream and left this rascal untouched! That one motherfuckers arm was dislocated at the elbow and the other guy's neck was stretched out like a goddamned Pez Dispenser.

Pippin: Speaking of stretched out and downstream I've gotta take a wicked piss.

Merryweather: Ugh. Speaking of piss, that Rocky Dennis lookin' hoover driver is gonna be uber-pissed that I've left her waiting this long....(looks at nonexistent watch)

Pippin: Wait, you had a civilian driver waiting for you?

Merryweather: Yeah...I know...but she doesn't know it's a crime scene....I told her I needed to take a shit and that I'd be right back.....but that was...Jesus (looks at invisible watch) 40 minutes ago now.

Pippin: No Drivers in Creek County. PERIOD.  You know the rules.

Merryweather: (choosing the wrong hill to die on and starts in) Hey... My car battery was dead And you didn't answer your phone cause you felt grabbing a couple cups of grease was more important.

Pippin: I did miss your call because I was grabbing us a couple cups of grease this morning but I did call you back once I saw the missed call. Thing is you didn't leave a voice message or text me any deets so I would know what's going on.

Merryweather:  By the time you'd called back it would've caused us both to be late so I called for a ride. How was I supposed to know you were getting us coffees?

Pippin:  Hey. I don't need you to rebook my acts of kindness in favor of your circumstances. ....Sheriff's Orders. No drivers in Creek County. They always go missing.

Merryweather: (using robotic stiff humor to cut the tension...when Pippin mentioned the word period it reminded her that she forgot that her time of the month was coming up)Hey.....Sheriff's Orders. Check. (holds thumb up to count 1) No drivers in Creek County. Check. (middle finger to count 2) They always go missing. Check. (brings out pointer finger for the 3) ...three speaking of missing we need to stop at Capt. Spaulding's for another cup of grease...you know what I'm saying?

Pippin: I do know what you're saying. (he starts smiling and drifting)

Merryweather: ....(tilts her coffee cup toward the sky to chug and the camera follows it up to cut scene)

Pippin: (funny voice and smirk)  Fucking chinga....hurry up and come back....so we can piss together! There's a public outhouse near the parking lot.

Merryweather: Right on (drifting combs hair behind her ear like Wayne's World and smiles because she feels invited by Pippin; finally some validation)

Production Notes:

 Grab a couple of entry positioned upshots of Pippin and Merryweather walking down the bridges at Alderman's in order to splice into their walk from the Diner.

 Shit load of b-roll footage of Pippin driving them over to The Coffee Diner in Apollo Beach.

After filming this scene we'll actually be driving over to Plant City and parking near Town Hall in order to film the walking scenes that occur after The Coffee Diner when they locked their keys and phones in the cruiser and decided to walk to The Creekers' House.

SEGMENT 2:

- Outside of Captain. Spauldings -

aka

The Coffee Diner in Apollo Beach

Storyline Time:

What's going on? (narrative)

Pippin walks out of the diner holding coffees.

Merryweather is looking into the car window and sees the keys on the seat.

After a quick discussion they decide to proceed on foot through Creek County.

Dialogue: (actions)

Merryweather: (looking up from the window and at Pippin now holding a coffee and he's empty handed) I'm sorry, Pippin.

Pippin: Aww god fuckin' damn it. Not again. Fuck. (throws a kick in the air like he's really pissed think Sandy Lyle from Along Came Polly humor wise)

Merryweather: Jesus, I'm sorry....it's just..oh (realizes Pippin is teasing)

Pippin: (laughing) I'm yankin' ya crank.

Merryweather: (makes a crude face)

Pippin: What happened? I thought you wanted to sit in the car so you could stew about your ex. blocking you online.  Is hebrything okay with Martin. (pronounced Marteen)

Merryweather: I did say something similar but I don't really want to discuss my social life  with you...so any ways I got up to stretch out and the door snapped shut behind me. I thought this cruiser has an anti lock mechanism?

Pippin: It does............but It's been disabled.

Merryweather: Well more bad news, the keys are in there with my mobile.

Pippin: (okay with it by giving a social wince despite not giving a shit or real reaction otherwise) Well. Shit, happens. When you party nude, am I right?

Merryweather: Fuh? (not getting the bumper sticker reference)

Pippin: Well, what's the good news then, my liege? (Call her brethren)

Merryweather: The good news is you're holding my cup of grease, my liege. (takes coffee from Pippin)

Pippin: Nice. Here you go.

Merryweather: Danks. (chugs the coffee and then sleeve wipes her mouth) Where's the first address on the leads list?

Pippin: The first place is down off Borden Street. 1996 Borden Street.

Merryweather:  Borden, eh? That crosses over near the Wolf Path, right?

Pippin: (voice over): Yeah and the last known address of Manual Silva...people called him "Tunes Low" and his wrap sheet alone tells me he isn't an innocent victim in all this.

Merryweather: So what brought Mr. Silva, Joe Czanek, and a home health agent down into the Creek last night.

Pippin: Great question.

Merryweather:  Also do you wanna phone HQ for the locksmith?

Pippin: Yeah. I do....(sips coffee) but my phone was still charging in the car....

Merryweather: Fuckin' ah. (bites her lip)

Pippin: So let's see we'll do...(looking around overselling the hot coffee burning his lips) Borden....We could take the sidewalk South and then cruise West on Fascination Street and we should be able to make it there on foot in 30 minutes...

Merryweather: egh. (shrugs shoulders) Sounds deece.

Pippin: Deece?

Merryweather: Means decent. That driver woman said it earlier...

Pippin: Must be something new they say around here.

Merryweather: Well when in Rome, right? (chuckles)

Pippin: You know something about ancient civilizations?

Merryweather: (smiles and nodding slowly knowing that these two are speaking the same language and on the same page)...A fair amount. I took a couple bullshit requisite courses at The Creek County Community College. (Smiling devilishly.)

Pippin: Yeah, haven't we all... Have you heard about Gobekli Tepe?

Merryweather: No.

Pippin: Well, Gobekli Tepe is an 11,500 years old site in Turkey. (fades off)

Merryweather: Shit, that's like 9,000 B.C.

Pippin: Yep. And it has a record about a comet impact 2,000 years earlier than that.

Merryweather: No shit.

Pippin: ...and that comet is what triggered an mini ice age freezing Woolly Mammoths in their tracks....

Merryweather: I've heard about those frozen Mammoths.

Pippin: Well let me tell you what you haven't heard...

Production Note:

When we leave the Diner Parking lot we will actually be going to film Segment 4 on the Day 2 shoot.

Segment 3 aka Creekers House will be filmed on the Day 3 shoot as will Tunes Low's walk to meet Czanek and Brown at 6:30 PM.

After Pippin  said "heards" splice in the footage of downtown Plant City and the Boardwalks.

SEGMENT 3:

Walking to SlaughterHice Family from Captain. Spaulding's

What's going on? (narrative)

The Detectives approach Brook's house after exiting the boardwalk and their walk through downtown

to gather information regarding Manuel Silva.

When the door opens a woman using a powerade bottle as a bottle of dip spit is grinning

and invites them in for breakfast.

The household doesn't like them but the Detectives earn their respect.

The SlaughterHice 6

Storyline Time:

Friday April 13th, 2029 9:45 AM - Apophis is nearer to the Earth than the moon.

Pippin and Merryweather finish walking the boardwalk and through the b-roll and a graveyard and the arrive at the front door of Manuel Silva's Creekers Family. They knock a couple times....it takes a long time before the woman answers the door but it isn't acknowledged onscreen as taking an inordinate amount of time....

Darlene Anderson Voorhees: (woman answers the door) Sorry...I was trying to take a shit before ahhhh (holding a spatula and wearing an apron)

Merryweather: (offended) Ugh.

Darlene: Saaay, you two aren't Witnesses, are ya?

Merryweather: No ma'am but we're here....

Pippin: .... we're reaaaaaaally sorry to interrupt your shit by the way (grinning like Rob Scheinder)....

Merryweather: ...but we're from the CCPD and we're...

Darlene: (leans back in) Eh, if ya'll go in there don't flush til I can post a picture!!!!!

Darlene: (back to the detectives) Well why didn't you say so....I was jus' trying to squeeze out a quick one before my pancakes needed to be flipped so if you want breakfast come on in...you gals say your from the cops?(welcomes them and backs away in a way that causes Pippin to take the door and she looks at Merryweather who reluctantly follows the cook)

Merryweather: (mouthing no and shaking her head but still walking in the house) Yes, ma'am. We're looking into a possible homicide and....

Darlene: Homicide, eh? (smiling and drifting and thinking and intrigued but then looks past their shoulders scanning for DEA)

Pippin: What are you making, again? (looking in again and sniffing the wind)

Merryweather: and we're working closely with the Sheriff's Office to flush out any leads...

Pippin: ummmmm.....Is there something smoking? (looks into the house and gives a few visible sniffs)

Darlene: (snaps back to reality and out of the drifting and sniff) No? Oh, wait. Yeah. That's just the breakfast, baby. (looks) Oh shit, ...yall need to git or split or eat and speak cause my pancakes are gonna burn.

Merryweather: Oh...Thanks....but we'll comeba....

Pippin: (cuts his head with a shucks and comes in because they were invited and as a detective he never looks a gift horse in the ass) We're not the kinda folks to look a gift horse in the ass if that is what you're asking?

Darlene : (grinning) well that's exactly what I'm asking (drifting and grinning)

Pippin: Then we'd be delighted. (smiles) Go! (forces Merry in without dropping the smile)

ACTIONS

Pippin and Merrweather walk in the door with the camera behind the shoulder of Darlene

B ROLL OF HOUSE AND KITCHEN COOKING STUFF

Cut to Pippin and MERRYWEATHER both sitting at the table

Shot of DARLENE cooking the pancakes with the spatula

have someone ask about the flavor and have Darlene say butter beacon a lot to the point that merry questions it

Pippin: (under his breath and counseling Merryweather and we hear a woman getting nailed in the background) She gave us an in....you always take a foot in the door, mija.

Merryweather: So (looking around and making conversation with Darlene) is this everyone or were you expecting anyone else? (you can hear a woman in the background moaning and screaming - think Marla Singer from Fight Club)

Darlene: Who else do you think all these pancakes are for? Y'all ready for seconds,

Merryweather: Who are all the pancakes for? (looks at Dixie who has her head down on a stack of cakes)

Darlene: Yall are detectives....eh?

Pippin: S'maam. (real western way of the southern way of saying yessum)

Darlene: Well this is Dixie...

Merryweather: I see.

Darlene: What brings you two badge beavers to our neck of the woods?

Pippin: Well we're investigating a couple of bodies that were uncovered out in the swamps early this morning.

Darlene: Oh shit!

Merryweather: Something on your mind?

Darlene: Well. To be honest yeah....there is something on my mind.

Pippin: Would you like to share with the rest of the class? (raises his eyebrows like a schoolmaster)

At that moment Crispen Waa (Dixie Waa's husband by common law) and The Butcher walk in the house covered in blood and happy as shit when they realize they have company.....they are holding a machete, chainsaw, and sledge hammer.

Darlene: Hey bae-ee, (really southern) are these guys here for you?

Butcher: I don't know.....Are y'all here for me?

Pippin: Should we be here for you?

Butcher: I don't know....Are y'all here for me?

Pippin: I don't know...should we be?

Butcher: I don't know....you tell me...are yall here for me?

Pippin: I don't know....should we be here for you....(raises eyebrows)

Butcher: I don't know....should you....

Merryweather: Goddamnit Pippin, do you have to sit there battin' this shuttlecock back and forth?

Pippin: (loses the objective and focuses on Merry's use of words)  Geez, Mare. Don't say cock! (winces)

In walks a man with a bloody apron holding a cooler and

wearing a mask painted like a pumpkin.

Mitch Voorhees: [drops the cooler] Speaking of cock! All hail the man behind the grease paint! (raises his mask and looks at the two detectives) Who in the fuck are ya'll?

Merryweather: I'm Detective Miriam Merryweather and this is my esteemed partner Aaron Q. Pippin.

Pippin: Suh.

Mitch Voorhees: Suh.

Pippin: Suh. (looking at Crispin)

Crispin: Suh.

Butcher: (looks at Pippin) Suh!

Pippin: (returns) Suh.

Mitch: (looks at Merryweather) Suh!

Merryweather: Suh!

Darlene: Suh.

Merryweather: Suh!

Pippin: (looks at Dixie) Suh.

Dixie: (slowly raises her head) Suh.... (head back down)

Pippin: (looks at Merryweather) Suh.

Merryweather: (looks a little steamed and is looking out of the side of her eyes and then looks back to the camera before she speaks) We're here to investigate something that happened out in the swamp last night and....

In a split second Mitch makes a run for it

Pippin: Yo, what the fuck....

Merryweather: (looks at Pippin unsure if they should chase or what) Clit licker made a run for it!

Pippin: Hey, everyone wants to see a strong female lead...go for it, mija!

Merryweather: Fuckin' figures (makes a break for it)

In the next shot we see her run past a house or something before

Mitch walks out from behind it and walks back to the house

we see Merryweather (like Frank running) slowly realize

she has no clue who or where the

fuck this guy went

:Back at the house:

Pippin: What the fuck was  that all about?

Crispin: What did you guys want to talk to us about?

Pippin: We found the body of Manuel Silva. This is his last known address. Now let me ask you something...where do you think  your friend was off too?

Butcher: I told you I don't know anything. (cutting pancakes with a really righteous knife)

Pippin: Do you know anything about the death of Manuel Silva? (looking at Darlene)

Darlene: I need to use the restroom again....

Pippin: What about you two rascals? Either of you two Creek hounds know anything about Manual Silva? (Crispin eating and Pixie's head is down sleeping at the table)

Dixie: (snoozing)

Pippin: (awkward but a little like deniro and less michael scott) You seemed to be unhappy about our presence. Do you know anything about Manuel Silva?

Crispin: I don't know nuttin' bout nothing.

Pippin: ah....a double negative, eh? (suspects he may want to play or is childish and she hits a sly grin) Are you trying to tell us that you know something????? (pause) Orrrrrrrr arrrrreee yoouuuuuu.....

Crispin: I said I ain't sayin' nuttin' (folds arms like a rascal)

Pippin: So you are saying something? Yes? (raises her eyebrow; she's feeling punchy but fun)

Crispin: I'm saying that I don't know nothing about nothing....

Merryweather: So you are actually telling us that you do know something about something?

Crispin: I said that I ain't saying nothing to nobody cause I don't know nothing about nothing.

Merryweather: So what you're actually saying is....

Dixie: (screams and can't take it any more combined with concern like Sean Williams Scott in Dude Where's My Car with the Police Interrogation this is the wonka quite right sir stop the boat moment) He's said he doesn't know anything....fuck....

BOOM!!!

 Door Opens

Mitch re-enters the room.,

Mitch: Momma, Dixie. Go get her, would ya?

Pippin: Now I'm not gonna draw my pistol but would you kindly explain to me what the fuck is going on?

Butcher: You might wanna draw that pistol, smokey.

Pippin: Oh really....(reaching for his piece)

Crispin: Yeah we have a range 'round back if you're interested in shootin'

Pippin: Oh.... (realizes these are florida folks and relaxes his grip) Hey why did you run out of here so fast?

Mitch: The police hate clowns everyone knows that... beside there were 3 chicks in the room mother fucker and I needed to break wind....what the fuck would you do in a situation like that?

Pippin: I'd break wind and then say excuse me.

Mitch: I bet you would, mother fucker.

Pippin: Hmmm?

Mitch: Are you asking me because you don't know or because you are fishing me?

Pippin: well since I'm still here and fishing. I am required by law to ask; Are you really a Sheriff?

Mitch: “Well, my county is not of this world; if it were, My deputies would fight to prevent any arrest made by you. But now, My county is not in this realm.”

Then you are a Sheriff!!

Mitch answered, "You say that I am a Sheriff, because you are driven by a desire to see me fall.  The reason I came into this house was to feed my family. What are your motives, Hoss? Everyone on the side of freedom listens to me. Everyone in fear of losing freedom listens to you."

Pippin: Well, I don't know about all that, pal....what's in your cooler?

Mitch: I thought I made myself clear when I said feed my family, pal?

Pippin: Well, we're investigating the death of three locals. We found all three of them out in the creek and now you three jokers come walking in covered in blood. A missing roommate and three guys come in the front door covered in blood. You could say that raises my suspicions and therefore influences my agenda. So now you tell me,.....What's in the cooler, pal?

Mitch: Heads....(the cooler opens and the gator head is seen on ice)

Pippin: What the fuck....

Mitch: We were out in the swamps last night. The gators have become a problem since they developed a taste for human flesh about 10 years ago.

Pippin: So you guys thought we were here to ask you about poaching alligators?

Butcher: It's only poaching to the mother fuckers that aren't overrun by them.

Crispin: Besides we keep it nice and old school

Pippin: What makes it old school?

Mitch: It just is, mother fucker. Those starched shirts down at city-hall vote on shit that doesn't affect them at all because you all have the money to avoid the process.

Pippin: What process?

Mitch: The process where you don't have to feed yourself. You get someone else  to plunge their hands in the filth so you can keep yours clean.

Pippin: What about vegetarians?

Butcher: Do you know how many ground nesting birds and gopher turtles die to produce a fucking salad, Hoss?

Dixie: There's a storm coming, Mr. Detective. You and your colleagues better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you won't be able to camouflage in with the regular civilians pretending to just be one of us with a family but none of us have a badge to hide behind while you snipe at us from a position of privilege.

Pippin: Huh?

Dixie: Everyone of us who isn't a cop is a potential source of income for you assholes. When is it justified for us to fight back against excessive force from the police?

Pippin: If enough people feel that way you could always protest.

Dixie: Oh,....ok....We get to raise a stern voice to you all but you all have so many more options to fuck with us. That's fair.

Pippin: That's how democracy works.

Dixie: No, it isn't. Because until we get enough people to raise their voices your organization gets to rake in all the cash from every life you tie up in the legal system solely based off your suspicions or preconceived notions.

Pippin: I didn't come here for debate but all I can tell you is I'm not one of those guys. I'm just doing my job, I can't help if people get upset. You can't get a refund on a wedding.

Dixie: You're just doing your job until you bite off more than you can chew. Why are we expected to act calm when you can take away our freedom and benefit financially from it?

Pippin: Look, gang. I don't know who the fuck you guys think I am but I don't have answers for these questions and I not running for an office either so far as I'm concerned anyone leaning left or right can meet me right in the fuckin' middle (and he holds up a middle finger)

Mitch: As long as you keep that finger out of my asshole, we'll get along great.

Pippin: So do you know anything about Manuel Silva? After all this I don't think we can walk away empty handed, friends.

Darlene:  Oh hey, we wrapped some pancakes for you to go. (Brings over two huge stacks of cakes wrapped in aluminum foil)

Dixie: We even added the syrup and butter for you already.

Pippin: Thanks. (grimaces and yet pats his stomach) but I'm not quite ready to leave, now. When was the last time you saw Manuel Silva alive?

Mitch: Last time I saw him was yesterday evening. Butcher and Crispin were getting ice for the coolers and doing some last minute prepping like adding some cycle mix for the chainsaw and I came back to the house to check on him because he said he was too sick to go on the hunt (show him in bed with a bag of ice on head fake sleeping)

Truth is Dixie was in the shower and he was  peeping her out. When I confronted him he tried to deny it but I could see he had recorded her so I hit him with 3 knife edge chops before grabbing the phone and throwing it.

He hit me from behind. Then attempted to choke me out so I hit him with an old school judo throw and started whipping his ass...He's lucky if all he ended up with was a broken arm.

Dixie walks past in a full body towel and hair wrapped in a towel as well.

(insert scene of Merry telling Pippin....Dude...you wrote Wiping his ass not whipping...and Pippin crosses it out and fixes it) .

Pippin: You're back

Merryweather: ....and you wrote wiping his ass! (snickers)

Pippin: Yeah....yeah (at Merryweather then perks up)....A broken arm...maybe a broken wrist, eh?

Mitch:  Yeah he's lucky if all he ended up with was a broken wrist....

Merryweather: Well he was found mutilated and with several broken bones and...

Pippin: (talking to Merryweather) It's not them.

Merryweather: (references) They filled me in.

Pippin: Roger that.

Merryweather: You have any clue where he went after that?

Mitch: Nope.

Long pause

Pippin: Well....we've got about all we need, ladies and gentlemen. If we need anything else from you all we'll let you know....

Merryweather: Wait what?

Pippin: Let's get going...

Merryweather: Whoa wait.........do you mind if we use your phone to call down to the Sheriff's Office?

Mitch: Sure....

Pippin: (stands there looking annoyed that she used the phone) Make it snappy, pappy!

both are standing there quietly

CUT TO BOARDWALK

WHAT'S GOING ON?

Cut to Pippin and Merryweather on a Boardwalk leaving Brook's house footage from DAY 1 Shoot at HWY 92 Boardwalk

Pippin: Okay...well....what did the Sheriff's Office have to offer....any news on getting us back into the cruiser?

Merryweather: (selling an upset stomach) Well  the Sheriff said they could have a locksmith out here in a couple days...[cut to Pippin's face]

Pippin: (mouths) a couple of days....what the fuck? why so long...(makes the movie expectation to be longer....really getting cozy before we yank the rip cord quick)

Merryweather: He offered to send over their tow truck or to put us up in a hotel.

Pippin: I'm not staying overnight in Creek County just because we need a set of keys.

Merryweather: (continues) Sheriff also said they found Mr. Czanek's car in town and dusted it for prints and evidence.

Pippin: Interesting. Did they come back with anything?

Merryweather: Something new on Czanek, but they're still over there.

Pippin: Suh?

Merryweather: His last known address was an APO address in the Army.

Pippin: He's a veteran, eh?

Merryweather: Yeah. They ran the plates. Everything traces back legally to his grandmother in Louisiana but she's from Puerto Rico initially.

Pippin: Fuckin' figures.

Merryweather: What the fuck does that mean?

Pippin: It means this Czanek fella is a veteran who could've gone rogue.

Merryweather: Veterans are the good guys.

Pippin: He's been trained to carry out a mission. We might be dealing with a vigilante if he could take down a guy as dangerous as this Joker who has had some combat training...

Merryweather: Really, Pippin?

Pippin: JFK, MLK, and Oklahoma City were all carried out by veterans.

Merryweather:  Interesting

Pippin: We could be looking at a man who punishes bad guys in order to become something more...

Merryweather: Which is?

Pippin: A legend Ms. Miriam.

Merryweather: Perhaps we're looking for a man who is looking to beat up bad guys?? Really Pippin...hey remember when you asked me to knock off the trivia?

Pippin: Yeah...

Merryweather: Well the crime-fighter hypothesis is really showing your age.

Pippin: Excuse me?

Merryweather: Either you're huffin' gas fumes before work or you're developing a mental health disorder earlier than we expected.

Pippin: Excuse me? Oh, Chinga....that was low...

Merryweather: ....hey dick, you brought up my ex earlier at Spaulding's and then you've been acting like a real klutz all day today. Maybe I need to get you a wig and a red nose.

Pippin: If you got something to say then say it!

Merryweather: I did. You brought up my ex earlier....I don't appreciate it.

Pippin: Well I don't appreciate you always taking the lead when I have a situation under control.

Merryweather: Pause....right there. Partnerships aren't measured in quirk for quirk. This isn't some gosh danged courtesy exchange. We're partners. We run deeper than that.

Pippin: Well if we're such deep partners why not fill me in on your ex.

Merryweather:  Because it's none of your goddamned business.

Pippin: It's my business when you carry it around with you all day.

Merryweather: Pippin....you brought it up.

Pippin: Fair enough.

Merryweather: Sheriff said that apparently they found Czanek's car parked and running over near a neighborhood on Waters Ridge earlier.

Pippin: Great. Let's head over there, see if the Sheriff comes back.

Merryweather: Nope. Let's continue the mission and head over to question the witness Mrs. P.W. Grace regarding the last possible sighting of Angelo Brown.

Pippin: I thought you agreed to let me take the lead...

Merryweather: No you brought up your insecurities about not taking the lead when I asked you not to bring up my personal life. I tell you to get serious and stop fucking around and you bring up crimefighters hypothesis and vigilantes....

Pippin: Well what the fuck? Do you remember your wild goose chase back there? If we always followed your gut who knows who we might end up chasing down for no reason.

Merryweather: Speaking of that...how could you just sit there while someone makes a break for it?

Pippin: Listen you got caught chasing a wild fucking goose, Merryweather. You should've followed my lead instead of going after a potential witness like they were your chief suspect.

Merryweather: Really...Pippin? You want me to follow your lead? When that gator hunter ran out of that house you didn't even get up. You stayed behind.

Pippin: Right, Merryweather. With the people who had the ability to handle a conversation with the police. That is a fuckin' luxury they were tolerating us.

Merryweather: What's that supposed to mean.

Pippin: It means that not everyone in Creek County is prepared to have a tense discussion with us playing stoner cop and steroid cop while their freedom dangles in the balance.

Merryweather: Hey man, I am not fucking stoner cop.

Pippin: No you wouldn't be and that is my point.

Merryweather: You're the uptight, cop.

Pippin: No I'm not

Merryweather: Yes, you are.

Pippin: If...and I said If....If this was an 80s flick I'd cue a scene where a one dude is telling a another dude about how you'd be easier to be around if you got laid every now and then...sheesh

Merryweather: Well Pippin this isn't your 80s scenario and I don't give a fuck about getting laid.

Pippin: Which is why you need to think about how you treat people and fucking relax...

Merryweather: Fine Pippin, You want me to relax...I'll relax...I'll play it cool just like you do.

Pippin: I just want to know you trust me and will follow my leads too? We're partners. We give and take in unique ways. They don't have to be identical, just symbiotic. Frick and frack not frick and frick.

Merryweather: Who's frick.

Pippin: Way to intentionally avoid my points by feigning ignorance over a phrase like frick and frack.

Merryweather: Now who sounds like the robot and needs to relax, huh?

Pippin: Don't shift the heat. Partners does not mean we are the same. It means we work like a puzzle to make a bigger picture; either we fit together or we don't.

Merryweather: So what do you want us to go do next, huh, Pippin?? Do you want to go check Joe Czanek's car first, chat with that greasy sheriff face to face for a few hours, and then maybe we head over to question Mrs. Crane if we get around to it today?

Pippin: No.

Merryweather: No? No? Really. You don't want to take the lead.

Pippin: No. I trust your judgements

Merryweather: You do?

Pippin: Yes and we'll stay the course but when the time comes I need to know you've got my back. I need to know you trust me to call the fucking shots too.

Merryweather: Trust is a hard thing to come by these days, Pippin.

Pippin: I know, Chinga. So show some faith in me,

Merryweather: Faith comes at an even higher cost.

Pippin: Well then I got money to burn, baby! (drifts)

Production Notes:

When we leaves Brook's house we need to go and get footage of Ryan walking in downtown area to match the time he was going to meet Dustin and Andrew at 6:30 [This will be filmed on the Day 3 Shoot after Brook's house is filmed]

Segment 4 - board walking to leave Brook's (hwy 92) and walking up Grace's house

Production Notes:

Grace/Andrew's House was filmed on the Day 2 Shoot

We need footage of them walking around in her neighborhood

Film Detectives with Grace scenes first and then Angelo and Grace second

when the audio conversation picks back up they are in Andrew's neighborhood heading to the empty woman's house.

What's going on?

Onscreen they went from leaving Brook's and walking onto the Boardwalk on Hwy 92

and this conversation picks up in Grace's/Andrew's House from the Day 2 Shoot.

Dialogue: (actions)

Pippin: Put it together now...Oppenheimer detonates that in the New Mexico desert in 1945 and then 2 years later UFO's start showing up to see what the fuck is going on and then The United States, to their shame can't get off the launch pad with the Vanguard Rocket on live television. The Soviets had Sputnik and the Americans had Kaputnik and  were forced into using the "German" Saturn 5 rocket to get to space which was the end game of Operation Paperclip....

Merryweather: I know about that... we even adopted the German Autobahn...Hitler was breaking ground on his Interstate Highway System in the 30's and creating the People's Car. Look up the German Labour Front; they carried a different name in the 1940s.

Pippin: You're correct but like a broken needle we're  missing the point and that point is they've been making movies about UFOs even before the 1900s? Way before some goofy weather balloon incident. That is a goddamned red herring.

Merryweather: I didn't think movies existed until after the Civil War....

Pippin: I don't know about that. Movies have always been around.

Merryweather: Do you mean like camera obscura or like shadow puppetry in cave art.?

Pippin: Both.

Merryweather: I think in the 1800s movies were actual pictures in motion. The way people say film and shoot on digital now or do you mean like live theatre? Romeo, Romeo.... type shit?

Pippin: Yeah but still. There was probably something before that...

Merryweather: (shifts gears) Well there's definitely been horror and sci-fi throughout history.

Pippin: Like who?

Merryweather: Edgar Rice Burroughs and H.P. Lovecraft., are two off the top of my head.

Pippin: (writes the names down in his notepad) Anyone else?

Merryweather: Well...Washington Irving, The Brothers Grimm material....

Pippin: (mumbling and writing) Grimm....

Merryweather: Hey Bippin...this is the place...(say Bippin this is not a typo)

Pippin: (checks his notepad) Yes, it is. We found it.

Merryweather: Oh add Michael Spinelli to your book recommendations list.

Pippin: Let's not go overboard with the recommendations, heh.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

Both detectives approach the front door and Merryweather knocks...Pippin doesn't like to knock because then the owner can hold it against him if things get tense and he'd rather keep his hands at his side and not reach out. He also recalls the etiquette that the junior detective knocks and it's to his enjoyment. It is earned. Merryweather appreciates the time honored tradition and knocks and holds doors for all senior team members. She knows her 8 years on the force is respected even by Pippin who has been serving more off than on since the early 90s.

Crane: Come on inside, deer. It's always open.

Pippin: (raises eyebrow and takes a suspicious )

Merryweather: You want to talk about trust...(looks at Pippin)

Pippin: Never look a gift horse in the ass, amirite?

Merryweather: (smirks ands neighs like a horse at Pippin)

Crane: Angelo? Did you bring an animal with you?

Pippin: No, ma'am. We are detectives from the Creek County Police Department. That was my trusted mare, uh um....I mean my partner, Mare E. Weather.

Crane: ohhhh noooo....what's going on?

Pippin: don't worry, ma'am. We're not the bad guys...

Merryweather: ...we're out here investigating an incident from early this morning involving Angelo Brown and you were the last one in Angelo Brown's delivery log yesterday evening...

Crane: (worried as shit) oooooh shit, has something happened to my Angel? He's been such a tragic young man. He could really benefit from some counseling if you all do find him.

Merryweather: (firm not as warm as Pippin but not cold just not someone who'd experience a loss so great that he could understand how the news would rock her this way like a mistake later chocked up to youth) Well we're afraid we did find him, ma'am.  (quickly confirming the worst in his tone)

Pippin: (winces like Merry just ripped off a band aid but jumps in handing his partner a glass bowl of peanuts) And because of that we'd like to just speak to you regarding the last time you may have spoken with him.

Crane: He didn't show up for work this morning, I take it.

Merryweather: (shakes her head no while eating the peanuts from the candy bowl...mouthful edit in loud chewing sounds)

Pippin: (getting in closer to her) No, ma'am. He didn't.

Crane: Oh deer.

Merryweather: What's going on?

Pippin: (easy does it look toward Merryweather)

Merryweather: Are you Ms. Crane?

Crane: Yes. I am. Grace Crane.

Merryweather: You're the last house on his daily logs yesterday.

Pippin: Softer questions, Mare. Is there a Mr. Crane? Misses Crane? (making a subconscious Forrest Gump reference)

Crane: Yes. His name is Ichabod.

Pippin: Ichabod Crane?

Merryweather: Is he home?

Crane: In a sense.

Pippin: Oh I see.

Crane: Death isn't an end for everyone?

Merryweather: Oh? (intrigued) He is still here but not physically. He's in your heart.

Crane: No, deer. He's very much present in the room.

Merryweather: Looking around. Well I only see the three of us standing here.

Crane: (looking at Pippin) She doesn't eyes to see or ears to hear, huh?

Pippin: (smiles and shakes his head nope)

Something in the room bizarre happens to imply there is a ghost. A smashed lamp. The light buzzes.

Pippin: Let's get back to Mr. Angelo Brown, shall we.

Crane: Very well. (looks at Pippin) My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering? Why you're here....I've got some wicked cotton mouth but it appears my drink has grown stone cold.

Pippin: Hell yeah. (drifts)

As Pippin exits the room

Merryweather looks at Mrs. Crane

we hear a glass break

Production Notes:

The Woman and Angelo Brown

When Dustin enters the room the television is loud as shit

Just a plain, empty bedroom other than a television set and a dvd player

LOUD AS SHIT

The Blanket Needs to Be my Black Asian Dragon Blanket

Angel is in a rush

Angelo Brown: (racing in...rushed...) Hi Mrs. Crane.

Crane: Hi Brownie. (really warm smile) How are you doing today, deer?

Angelo: Ah busy, really busy, Mrs. Crane.  (Scatters around the room looking for t.v. tray and straighten up things and moving things around show him cleaning up...taking out the trash...etc...he also hates being called Brownie and rolls his eyes)

Crane: Thank you, baby. I was really starting to get hungry. I was worried when you wouldn't make it this evening.

Angelo:  Oh yeaaah.....I had planned to stop by with breakfast this morning....but it blew my mind. I'm so sorry.  The protestors are at it again, so even if I had time it would've been a few cereal bars or some instant Coffee.

 Crane: Well it would be better than nothing. I drank the last two turkey and cream flavored supplement shakes before bed last night. You didn't happen to bring any more with you? (bites her lip)

Angelo: Noooowwwwhy I brought you this, Mrs. Crane. It's the rest of a brisket sandwich and pack of soda crackers. (smiling sincere but veneer weak)

Crane: You didn't bring this from the Donation Kitchen did you? (questions that it isn't authentic)

Angelo: Nooooowwwhy but I saved half of it for you.....well almost half. (shrugs like it would cause someone to ask "is that fuckin' funny" knowing the person feels bad but decides to stomp their weak attempt at primitive submission instead of acting

Crane: No. That's okay, dear.  Do you think you could bring a few cups of applesauce when you come by tomorrow? I'd really appreciate it.

Angelo: Applesauce. Got it.

Crane: Angel...how did the promotion go.....why don't you sit down and tell me how the promotion went. Is that why you are in such a rush? The higher ups got your nads in a vice?   (full of hope and said with a really warm smile reaches out like she was going to give a squeeze on an invisible stress ball repeatedly and hoping the subtly joke will cause Angelo to talk to her she must keep her hand outstretched and clenched until she asks him to come back for breakfast tomorrow and he says absolutely then the actress can release her hand)

Angelo: (still rushed, ignore invitation to sit down and doing that nasally Noooooooo) Noooo.....not exactly but, yes, it is why I am rushing but I think things are gonna change. I just don't have a lot of time to talk about it right now.

Crane: Oh...no....are you okay, dear? What's got you so pressed, my son?

Angelo: Without the promotion it's been tense but It's really nothing, Mrs. Crane. Is there anything else you need...I'm running kinda late...

Crane: Running late for what, Angel? If you didn't get the promotion where do you need to be with such haste?

Angelo: I just...

Crane: Angel, sit the fuck down would you and tell me what's going on? Normally you spend the better part of an hour catching up with me and trading old stories before public broadcasting uploads their new episodes but the last three weeks you come and go without a second thought. I've been expecting you all day and you haven't even sent me one text?

Angelo: Phone works both ways. Next time you look at your phone and think it's been a while since I called or texted you then take that to mean I'm the yin to your yang. You want a text, give a text. You want a phone call, call me. (realizes he took it too far and see Mrs. Crane look sad)

Crane: Fair enough. (realizes the phone call argument is a weak platform to stand on for the first time in her life)

Angel: (realizes he's not being cool to the woman) Grace, I....

Crane: (holds up a folded newspaper) Here.... I even saved you the funnies. There's a Ziggy, right here.

Angel: (forced smile and chuckle) Ah. Ziggy. Nice.

Crane: Angel please sit down, won't you.

Angelo: I really appreciate the Ziggy, Mr.Crane,  but I really am being squeezed right now.

Crane: Tomorrow at breakfast then? (opens her hand)

Angelo: Absolutely (glad to have his metaphorical nads let out of the vice)

Crane: Oh Angel...

Angelo: Yes

Crane: (throws a shoe at Angelo)

Angelo: What the fuck, Grace? (smiling and playful) What the big idea?

Crane: Back in the day it was good luck to throw a shoe at someone as they were leaving.

Angelo: Well luck is for losers is what I always say. (feeling cocky as shit that he used a catchphrase he had chambered)

Crane: If it wasn't for losing some of us would never get to play (grateful and humble knowing luck isn't for losers)

Angelo: Goodbye, Grace....oh and Grace. I filled up your bowl with those chocolate covered nuts from Kingsport. (smirks to break fourth wall and set the joke as it cuts back to Crane telling the story)

Production Note:

FADE BACK TO THE DETECTIVES listening to Grace like Titanic.

Crane: I appreciated the thought because I grew up in Kingsport but I can't chew those peanuts very well so I sucked off the chocolate and then spit the nuts back in the bowl. (smiles at Merryweather)

Merryweather: (looks like she is about to hurl because  she realized she is eating the peanut leftovers from the chocolates) Nnnngh

Pippin: (holding back tears of laughter realizing the situation as well) and is there anything else after that?

Crane: No. That was the last time I saw him but with how distant he's been lately I've already been missing him long before he actually left.

Long silent pause where Mrs. Crane reflects and the detectives awkwardly watch her

Crane: (breaks the quiet awkwardness) Well if you all don't have any more questions I hope you don't mind if I ask you both to leave (smile)

Pippin: Oh?

Merryweather: (still grossed out but more miffed toward Pippin's delight)

Crane: I appreciate you both as professionals with your metaphorical boots on the ground but to reveal my hand to you both; I do not care for systems.

Pippin: (feeling a bit on the rushed side and slightly offended) Here's my card, Grace, give us a call if you can think of anything else that may cross your mind.

Merryweather is making a break for it....Pippin is dying to laugh...and Grace speaks up....

Crane: Detective!!!!

Pippin: Yes? (Pippin and Merryweather both look in at her head over head from a wall)

Crane: Is Feed the Friends going to send someone over soon? I haven't had anything to really eat since chugging those turkey and cream shakes Angelo dropped by yesterday evening...

Pippin: Uh....uhh….yeah we'll we'll try to work something out...

Crane: (weak grimace) I see.

Pippin: Do you want us to lock this?

Crane: I was under the impression that you all keep the streets safe. I grew up being told there was nothing out there, nothing to fear but fear itself.

Pippin: You know...we may be looking at a serial killer and he may still be on the loose in Creek County.

Crane: Nothing new around here. There's always a psychopath doing something somewhere. It's only Nature running Its course

Pippin: What's that supposed to mean. Are you saying we don't do a good job keeping the Creek safe?

Crane: Well both my step sisters were murdered by the same 'mother fucker' who ran a small 12 cabin motel outside of Fairvale on Route 99.

Merryweather: So that's why you're afraid?

Crane: Oh, I'm not afraid....I'm ready.

Pippin: Ready for what?

Crane: Whatever walks through that front door. (glances to a handgun tucked under a pillowcase)

Merryweather: Yeah but....

Crane: Are you a beaver, young woman?

Merryweather: No?

Crane: Then you shouldn't give a damn (breaks the tension and so that they all share laughs; she makes a beaver face at her and he laughs)

Merryweather: Because I'm an officer of the law, ma'am and We're sworn to protect.

Crane: Protect from what exactly?

Pippin: I don't ma'am. Perhaps anything that comes through that door.

Crane: Well you two rascals are the only two things two walk through that door today. Do I need protection from the law?

Merryweather: Why would you need protection from the law?

Crane: I don't. Christ is our protection from the law, right?

Merryweather: Well ma'am. If a maniac is on the loose you might need to call us to fight him off. (smiles like Mike Starr)

Crane: Well if everyone acted like Christ then the only thing I'd need to fight is this case of the munchies, and as far as that goes...don't forget about me, kids....I haven't had much to eat in the last 24 hours but I'm starting to feel real peckish after eating all that chocolate. (winks at Merryweather and grins through the stomach pains and avoids holding her stomach while forcing a stoic chuckle in the face of these two well fed civil servants)

Merryweather: We'll try and make sure someone comes out and checks on you.

Crane: Just remember Matthew 25:35 and 45.

WHAT'S GOING ON? (narrative)

The Detectives exit the house ready to react.

Pippin leans on her a little and teased her about the chocolate peanuts

They decide to head into town after setting up a montage of Angelo and Tunes Low

Pippin: Dude....she totally greased you on those peanuts though!!!

Merryweather: I immediately started feeling queasy. Like a gopher turtle was leg eggs in my guy.....you're both lucky cause I definitely almost blew chunks...

Pippin: Well then I guess Chunks would be the lucky one then....(scoring off her from earlier)

Merryweather: Ha ha...ya ya....Who the fuck is Chunks? You guys are fuckin' creeps..(punches his arm)...

Pippin: (rubs his arm) Sheesh, bitch. No wonder you have so many write ups for excessive force.

Merryweather: Oh yeah...Well come back over here and I'll...

Pippin: (flicks out two attempts to cup check / clit flick her) You'll get back... (smiling because he remembers)

Merryweather: (smiling, joking, serious too) One of you flick my clit again and we're gonna have problems!

Pippin: (smiling) Well don't fuck around like taffy and bite off more than you can suck....

Merryweather: (gives a huh face to the misworded joke but keeps going) So now what we've got Angelo Brown heading one way and Manuel Silva heading the other way and then...

Pippin: and as the sun goes down they all merge into three way street with their contemporary Joe Czanek??? (fades into Segment 5 with Ryan and Dustin walking through downtown heading to Joker's car)

What's Going On?

The Detectives are now walking to Joker's car also the rendezvous spot of Angelo and Tunes

Pippin wondered about the two criminals and what they were doing

We see a double montage of Ryan walking one direction, and Dustin walking the other

Segment 5: The Criminals get to the house, the car, the TOM, and.....

What's Going On? (narrative)

We just faded to a montage after Pippin started thinking...

During the Montage we saw Tunes Low and Angelo walking through town separately

Then they meet up in front of the Joker's car

Joker's car seen in background for when he flashes his high beams.

Tunes Low: Suuuuuh! (holds out hand for a Crows)

Angelo: Do you have to act like a local? Aren't you from the Bayou anyways?

Tunes Low: Hey! We all come from somewhere, amirite? (still holding out hand for a Crow's and he is smiling)

Angelo: (slightly annoyed, eye rolling, but gives in and crow's him) Yeah...(reluctantly) Suh

Tunes Low: Nize....

Angelo: Joker's already here. Let's get over there before he gets manic. (Joker obnoxiously starts flashing the high beams repeatedly)

Tunes Low: Shit, that dude is always manic.

Angelo: (holds hands to block his face from the flashing high beams as they both walk toward the shoulder height camera on their faces and they split the camera walking on both sides of the camera man and off screen) Yeah....we see you...jeeeeeeez

Production Note:

FLASHES BACK TO REAL TIME WITH THE DETECTIVES

What's Going On? (narrative)

Now we see Pippin and Merryweather walking up in front of Joker's car where Dustin and Ryan just met at the end of their lone wolf blended walking segments

Carlos is in the car really dusting it for finger prints.

that were filmed on Day 3 after Brook's House in Plant City Downtown and spliced in with the walking up on The House Day 4 Shoot.

Merryweather: Wow, that was a cool story, brother...could you tell it again later, possibly?

Pippin: Sure why?

Merryweather: I thought it was deece but it always seems better the second or third time a person tells me a story so they can remember certain nuances and it gives me a chance to get a feel for the characters too....

Pippin: Right on... (slight nod like driftin' eye brow cocked, scanning for sarcasm)

Merryweather: You're the only person I've ever met who claims to have actually been on a date with a ghost.

Pippin: That's right and the hardest thing to figure out was how she got pregnant. (dead straight serious face)

Merryweather: (notices Joker's car in the background of the shot and tells Pippin about it cut to them talking to Carlos but not before Merryweather finishes his line because it mirrors the shot of Dustin and Ryan in front of the car but for them Joker is inside not Carlos) There's Joe Czanek's car. They said the engine was still running when they found it this morning.

Production Note:

Carlos is dusting the car for prints and talks to Pippin

Pippin: Who reported it?

Carlos: A local dog-sitter noticed the car still running and the door wide open....apparently it's on her route...saw an abandoned car with the engine still running...even the A/C was left on. Cell phone was still on the seat. Battery was dead though.

Pippin: So Czanek's car was found here in town running and he's found face down in the Creek.

Merryweather: (setting up the flashback) ...and that means Angelo  and Manuel Silva were both coming from other sides of town and they must've converged on Private Joker here around 19:20 last night........(quick flash of Ryan and Dustin meeting a moment earlier like Vic's memory lapses in RBC and also show the Creek bodies to remind the audience where this ends up)

Production Notes:

where the Joker's car was found and they recognize both criminals were walking to meet at the car at the same time...well let's head to that car.

Carlos really dusting for prints

Camera inside the cab of the car same view it had of Joker sitting now empty

COPY OF WAKE OR TARGET on the SEAT

Door of the car was left open and the detectives are looking inside at Joker's book on front seat

Pippin: Well now this is a puzzle...We got three men, two had to meet up here and the third person's car is parked over there and was found running. We got these three characters converging on one location...

Merryweather: and then something happens....

Pippin: ...and then they're found face down in the Creek.

Merryweather: Two of them mutilated...

Pippin: Hmmmmm hmm...(milling it over in his mind.....briefly)

Merryweather: You thinking it's connected to your UFO lights over the reservoir?

Pippin: mm mm...nah....but I would like to talk to whoever lives in this house though?

Merryweather: You thinking they knew someone who lives here?

Pippin:  Hey, somebodies got to know something about someone... (smirks into a fade to Angelo and Tunes Low getting into Joker's car)

Merryweather: (drifting and nodding and grinning) Niiiiizzzzzeeeee. My man going off script....

What's Going On? (narrative)

The Criminals are getting into the car with Joe Czanek

One starts to get in the back before Joker jokingly tells one of them to sit up

front with him. He isn't a fucking driver and several slightly bad or stock jokes slightly repackaged.

Joker tells them the business

Joker: Eh!!! One of you mother fuckers need to sit up front with me. Ain't nobody getting some driving Mrs. Daisy bullshit. Split it up rascals. Hurry up.

Tunes Low: Hey chillax, man. We're not going anywhere, are we? (drifts really Florida Man)

Joker: I'm not going anywhere.....(pause)....But one of you mother fuckers need to jump up here, right quick!!!!

Angelo: (sits upfront he's used to keeping things socially lubed) Alright. Alright. I'll sit up front. Let's just keep things moving.

Joker: Danks. (image is hebrything to this character he loves appearance especially his own and his own jokes)

Angelo: No problemo. Let's just keep things moving nice and smooth.

Joker: Speaking of smooth, I appreciate you both following my instructions and arriving separately. It prevent collusion and conspiracy

Tunes Low: Collusion? you nervous, Joker? (bites lip and cocks eyebrow...he's being funny)

Joker: Fuck nah! Why you starting to get second thoughts, junkie?

Angelo: Hey Joe. Climb off his back. He's been clean for the last 8 weeks. (stares intensely at Joker and defensively for Tunes Low and his addiction)

Tunes: Yeah!

Joker: Alright. Alright. Let's not start chuggin' the salt water already. We've barely gotten out of the harbour on this dinghy.

Angelo: This should be a walk in the park. He stopped in for his meds early.

Joker: And did he pay wIth some of those old gold coins?

Angelo: Sure as shit he did. (Holds up a bizarre golden coin) These ones are from 1812.

Tunes: Gimme that!   (reaches out for the gold like when Madrox took the VHS tape from Big Baby Sweets and Angelo snatches it back right quick)

Angelo: Not so quick, junkie....(smirks realizing the hypocrisy in his jest) This is Spanish gold.

Joker: (realizing the sarcastic hypocrisy in Angelo's joke and he doesn't like other people's jokes) riiiiight....and so now you two patriots are going to both slide up there and pose as census takers and when he let's you in...

Tunes: we start fucking him up and I'll snap him up in a scorpion deathlock, right quick !!! (pounds fist and shakes head approvingly like Madrox)

Joker: Nooooo...you fucking idiot. If you break his back then you are probably going to have to kill...if you kill him we may not find any of his gold so don't take things too far....on the other hand don't go easy on him either....he might actually like it...

Angelo: (concerned for the elderly and referencing Bob's other films with a nod reaction) Gross....

Tunes: He ain't no stock old man. He a Cheif Warrant Officer...Confirmed Hard as Nails........(holds up a cool knife or a couple of throwing stars)

Angelo: We're not gonna need all that this guy is pretty old...

Tunes: Well Clint Eastwood was always pretty diehard...I'm shit he was fucking dude's up well into. (interrupted)

Joker: There's no need to debate. He's old. He senile. He's....

Angelo: Loaded.

Joker: Exactly and once you're both inside then you tie him up and press him for where he has stashed the gold.

Tunes: Tie him up? With what rope?

Joker: Quack quack, mother fucker! (Holds up a roll of duct tape)

Tunes: Yeah. Well. What if he doesn't feel much like tawkin'?

Joker: Threaten to set fire to the house.

Tunes: Shit! (shocked or taken back he isn't willing to take things that far...he was only thinking an ass at worse)

Joker: (sees he shocked Tunes and smiles) Just like Hell, baby, nobody wants to burn.

Angelo: Alright. So that's our theatrics and deception, eh, Joe? Census workers?

Joker: You two rascals  go up to his front door posing as census workers and when he opens up the front door you guys bust in the front door and then proceed to bully him into giving up the gold.

Tunes: Why aren't you going up with us, Joker?

Joker: Because I am the get away driver, Silva.

Tunes: Well I drive pretty decent. Maybe I could stay behind and you could go up...

Joker: I would go up but I slipped in some acid at work and tweaked my knee. (references his injured knee)

Tunes: (chuckles because he mentioned Acid...not the indirect Batman references)

Joker: Trust me. It wasn't very funny.

Angelo: Alright. Well let's get going, Tunes.

Action:

Walking up to the house on the porch....

Tunes: I hope this rascal doesn't try anything cause I'll fuck him up right quick....

Angelo: Just settle down. He's pretty old and like Joker said he's likely to get stubborn if we hurt him. So let's just be persuasive and reaaaally work him over.

 Production Notes:

Tunes and Angelo are both knocking on the door and it opens

We see over TOM's shoulder (night time)

Ryan and Dustin are standing there and speak

Tunes: Hello, Sir. We're from the Creek County Census Commission

Angelo: Could we come in for a cup of sweat tea and maybe you could be helpful and answer a couple of question?

                                                                 (Tunes Low is smiling and drifting)

45 minutes later

Joe 'Joker" Czanek: (is reading a book in his car and he is alarmed by a loud scream. At first he is caught of guard.)

Joker: The fuck?! (without dropping the camera and showing anything we hear the sound of his buckle fastening and his zipper zipping as if he was getting dressed after being completely relaxed in the front seat)

Joker: (hears a grown man screaming out louder than before) ...goddammit...these assholes are gonna wake the gods making him scream like that.

Joker: (walking with a cane) These motherfuckers. You want something done right you gotta do it yourself.

Production Note:

⦁ Shows Andrew R get out of the car, injury limping with a cane, and casually walks up to the house, ready to get paid, and he goes to knock on the door but it's open and or he pushes it open and....

Joker: Well. You want something done right....you're gonna have to do it yourself. (sits the cane down and knocks and the door slowly opens and he sees Tunes Low and Angelo massacred on the floor with the Old Man standing in between them)

Joker: I'll be damned (grim smile becomes a sick laugh) HAHAHAHAHA!

Production Note:

⦁ think about the mom screaming at the beginning of Scream 1 transition and the scream and music blend with knocking and phone dial cresendo

⦁ Now cut/transition to Pippin and Merry standing where Joker was the camera will be acting as the door and basically Merryweather knocks (fake knocking sound to match his 3 knocks) on an imaginary door (because the camera pulled in on Andrew screaming) and as he pulls his hand back the camera will cut to facing the door and the Old Man opens it asking what the fuck is going on?

What's Going On? (narrative)

Now it transitions to Pippin and Merry standing on the

door in broad daylight knocking like Andrew R did and the door opens

The extreme close up on Joker's face becomes the old Man answering

The Final Act

The Terrible Old Man: What's going on?

Merryweather: Good afternoon sir, we're from CCPD and we'd like...

The Terrible Old Man: More of you Census worker, huh?

Pippin: (listens and goes to speak but wasn't sure what he said and let's it pass to let Merry continue)

Merryweather: Um....no sir. We'd like to ask you a couple of questions and then we'll get out of your hair (smiles)

The Terrible Old Man: : (close up of the old man and he growls cause he's bald and doesn't like Merry or Pippin)

Merryweather: Do you know anything about a car parked over there, adjacent to your house, sir?

The Terrible Old Man: Car. I don't have a car, you fucking prick. What's all this about. (rude Bilbo attitude)

Merryweather: Oh...(thoughtfully thinks not just a pause this guy is a detective) well. Would you know anything about three deceased men from Creek County....there bodies were found this morning out near the swamps.

The Terrible Old Man: You dragged me off the couch for some local missing persons bullshit. They finally aired Lon Chaney in London After Midnight....that was considered a....

Pippin: (notices a cane, Joker's cane, but it would never dawn on him it was Joker's cane) Here's your cane, sir. (this is a goofy interuption - think Ryan Reynolds meets Ace Ventura...the here's your $2 from Dirty Work scene)

The Terrible Old Man: (looks at it and then snatches it and then aims a jab in at Pippin) What do you want a fucking cookie for handing an old man his cane, jabroni? (making a decent point about seniority)

Pippin: (not one to take shit) Come on....(grabs Merryweather by the arm and starts walking away not gruffly, not forcibly, like a good buddy walking you away from a scam)

Merryweather: (confused) hwuh?

Pippin: This is going no where,(speaking to the Old Man gives him the kill em with kindness smile which cares no kindness and thus never kills)...Have a nice day, old man.

The Terrible Old Man: Yeah, yeah..fuck off, junior! (couldn't give a fuck to recall a single detail even if he could remember what happened because to him it was like swatting flies...who keeps track)

SOUND EFFECT OF DOOR SLAMMING BECAUSE THE DOORWAY IS THE CAMERA WATCHING

Pippin AND MERRY GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE !!!!!

Merryweather: What the fuck was that, Pippin? (gets down the stairs) I had a couple more questions. (Seriously wanting to know what the fuck Pippin's problem is?)

Pippin: No you didn't...(firm but in his mind saving Merryweather from wasting him time)

Merryweather: I was gonna ask him ...(ready to correct Pippin)

Pippin: Ask him what? Why is he such a Terrible Old Man...........

Merryweather: I wanted to....(considers Pippin's point thoughtfully) you know what...Pippin,  you're right. He is just a Terrible Old Man....What could he do to anyone?

Pippin: No one else on the list.

Merryweather: What do you wanna do next?

Pippin: (smirks and looks at his invisible watch) Well looking at my Gucci, it's about that time...

Merryweather: Oh. You wanna grab some lunch?

Pippin: Yeah. You hit up Spaulding's and get me an extra large cup of grease. I'm gonna drop by the Sheriff's Office and grab us the spare set of keys.

Merryweather: You want me to grab you a chef's salad or something too while I'm there?

Pippin: Yeah. and If you do ...grab a bottle of french salad dressings this time...

Merryweather: No ranch? The ulcer?

Pippin: No. But the ranch dressing you brought back last time tasted like it was fresh from the fertility clinic, so just make sure the bottle is sealed.

Merryweather: Roger that.

Pippin: Alright, well....yeah...

Merryweather: (looks up at the sun) Yeah...well I'll see you when you get there, partner.

Pippin: (hits the bros) Fuck yeah!!!! See you when I get there.

What's going on? (narrative)

The detectives part ways after meeting a dead end at the old man's house

The camera stays with Pippin

a young boy approaches Pippin to explain the legend of TOM Walker

Segment 6: The Legend of Tom Walker

Hank Vincent: Dude, that's Tom Walker's house!!!

Pippin: Yeah....so? (really doesn't give a shit and is miffed about the cold case)

Hank: They say he's not just a Terrible Old Man! He's the Terrible Old Man. Nobody goes up there.

Pippin: You're tellin' me, kid...(gruffs and still not giving much mind to the kid)

Hank: You weren't timid to be up there speaking with him?

Cut to close up on Pippin's face (lots of back and forth to keep Pippin short)

Pippin: No. Why?

Hank: They say he sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for all the King's gold buried by Captain Kidd the Pirate near Creek County Bay.

Pippin: Shit, kid. That would be over 300 years ago.

Hank: They say that he's the Terrible Tom Walker and he sold his soul to the Devil for all the buried gold of Captain Kidd. After 10 years the Devil came to take his soul only to find that Tom had pledged his soul to his wife before their deal....The Devil shrugs his shoulders and not looking for a debate scooped up Tom's wife and dragged her away to Hell.

Pippin: Oh yeah?

Hank: Yep. Straight to Hell.

Pippin: (listening)

Hank: Yeah. They say the Devil  cursed Tom Walker to lead an unnaturally long life, rich and heartbroken, and that anyone who dares mess with the old man suffers the worst of fates.

Pippin: Worst of fates, eh?

Hank: (nodding)

Pippin: Sounds like horseshit, kid. Beat it. (Refuse to see)

the kid beats it and the camera does the long sweep back to Bob's face

before morphing into Young Bob sitting in the house years prior

Tom Walker: (looking at his wedding ring and speaks to an off camera wife) Darling, I'm going down to the shore line for a bit of business. I won't be too long.

Wife: Do look for a job while you're out, wouldn't you?

Tom Walker: (looking at wedding ring and whispers to himself) He can't take what is no longer mine to give. (camera is on the ring but in his left hand with the focus on his wedding ring. when he closes his hand the screen goes black and goes to the beach)

Beach / Shore:

Black Phillip: Welcome back, young Tom Walker. Would it be safe to assume you walked out  all the way out here to the beach to let me know that you are not interested in our deal for the treasure? (smirks he know Tom is on the hook and he knows Tom has a plan)

Tom Walker: (smirking back) Not quite, Mr. Black.

Black Phillip: Great. Then let's roll the dice, shall we.

Tom Walker: Not so quick. Let's hear the terms one more time.

Black Phillip: You get all the King's gold as hidden by Captain Kidd the Pirate...

Tom Walker: ...and.....

Black Phillip: ...and you'll be granted certain powers in the event anyone attempts to divorce you from the gold and.....

Tom Walker: ...and I get at least 10 years to enjoy the gold.

Black Phillip: ...yes...you will get 'at least' 10 years to enjoy the gold. (smiles)

Tom Walker: (wrings his hands) So where's the gold?

Black Phillip: (barely directs him with his head over his shoulder without breaking eye contact) Over there.

Tom Walker: If you don't mind I won't waste anymore of your time....(walks past and over the hill)

Black Phillip: (speaking to himself and the audience but alone) I've got all the time in the world.

black screen

 The T.O.M.

Shooting Script:

Day One:

⦁ Alderman's Ford - Chantal, Pete, Jess, Photographer, Carlos, Mike, Steve, Dustin (crime scene #1 and #2 @ 9:00 AM)

⦁ Downtown Plant City - Chantal, Pete, (montage footage @ 12:00 PM )

⦁ Club/Boardwalk on HWY 92 - Chantal, Pete (end of montage arrive near Brook's house 2:00 PM)

⦁ Props: 2 Clean White Sheets, Evidence cards, 2 coffee cups, caution tape

Day Two:

⦁ Diner - Chantal, Pete, Jess, Mike, Steve, Dustin (Keys locked in the cruiser segment 10:00 AM)

⦁ Andrew's House aka Grace's House - Chantal, Pete, Dustin, Woman, Jess, Steve, Mike (Detectives first, Angelo second)

⦁ Props: Peanuts, Chocolate Covered Peanuts, Chocolate Covered Raisins, T.V. Dinner or Frozen Dinner with Tray (Hungry Man)

Day Three:

⦁ Brook's House - Pancakes, Milk with Chantal, Pete, Brooks, Sam, Steve, Jess, Mike, Dustin (Detectives arrived from boardwalk, pancakes, milk, Ryan flashback, detectives exit 10:00AM - 4:00PM)

⦁ Downtown flashbacks for Dustin and Ryan - Keith, Dustin, Mike, Chantal, Steve (5:00PM)

⦁ Props: Pancakes, Syrups, Prescription Bottles

Day Four:

⦁ The Arrival of The Detectives in front of Joker's car - Chantal, Mike, Steve, Pete, Jess (12:00 PM)

⦁ The Ending Sequence - Pete, Chantal, Bob, Mike, Steve, Jess (2:00PM)

⦁ The Car, The Criminals, The Old Man, The Joker and The Front Door, The Massacre - Ryan, Andrew, Dustin, Jess, Mike, Steve, Bob (After 6:00 PM)